Finding Marbles

When I was little, I used to visit my cousin's house a lot.  We could walk to the 5 and dime at the corner...and I really do believe it was called that, or something very similar (and you really could buy a piece of candy for a dime...but let me not date myself too much).  We felt pretty cool walking to the store on our own.

Then we would take walks around the block and look for "treasures".  Coins, bottle caps...whatever.  But the biggest treasure of all...always...was finding a marble.  We'd go home and shine it all up like we struck gold.  And then we'd show it off.  So proud and accomplished.  One time, we found the BIG marble...an inch in diameter...wow, what a day! It didn't have any color, but it was a glass marble, and it was huge.  The jackpot of marbles!  On that day, it felt better than Christmas.

There were so many things that were magical in my childhood.

I sat thinking of this one day several years ago and wondered why I never find marbles anymore.  I shared this with my brother, and I swear it wasn't a week later that he handed me a marble that he found in my grandmother's back yard.  I almost cried I was so happy.  In fact, I think I did. 

And it was at that moment I realized...I don't find marbles anymore because I stopped looking.

I could go into a full on essay about the meaning of this as a metaphor for adulthood, but I think it's clear enough on its own.

If you want to keep finding marbles...never stop looking.

They are there, covered in dirt with one tiny edge peeking out.   

And you know how I know this for sure today?  Because yesterday my brother sent me a picture of two marbles that washed out of the dirt in my grandmother's yard...now his yard (the picture here).  He remembered, and he still looks.  And he still finds them.

And now, I should go....there are marbles to be discovered!

~keep looking, there are magical hidden treasures just waiting to be found

Feeling good is good enough for me

I have been carrying the same purse for at least 5 years...it could be 8.  I love it.  It's from target, and it's a functional cloth purse.  I know exactly where my phone is and where my keys are.  It's falling apart a little, but I haven't found one to replace it.

I don't wear a lot of makeup.

I am allergic to hair dye now, so I have let my grey streak shine.

I don't go out a lot, but I just don't believe it when I'm told that being happy in my solitude is a problem.

My soul smiles when my dogs are happy and there is good music on the radio.

I realize being too "still" was an issue.  I now go to the gym, and am happy to be on the path to a more healthy lifestyle.

Still...there are people at the gym who match head to toe. I don't have the time, money, or the inclination to dress up for the gym.  I just want to get there.  I am going to be healthy. This is not a fashion show for me.  

I wear bobby pins to keep my hair out of my face. and my workout clothes are from walmart and target...because I don't need to spend $50 on a pair of shorts to wear to the gym.

Half of the anxiety in my life is because people are trying to tell me I need to fit into something that I was not born to fit into.

I will probably never be part of a social club.

I will never carry a purse bigger than my ass.

I will not wear earrings bigger than my head.

I will not dress to impress.  I like my cargo shorts and flip flops.  Any man that doesn't appreciate that is not the man for me.

And there is absolutely no judgement here on anyone who does things I cannot do.  These things are perfectly acceptable and even great for those whose personalities fit them.  I'm just tired of feeling like I'm not enough because it's not me to do them.

I will get healthy,but I will not become someone I am not.

I am a hippie chick.  Love me or leave me alone, because feeling good is good enough for me.

~peace